I struggle with this emotion all the time, but how do we deal with how we feel when things don’t always work out the way we want them to?
Being a father for the last 28 years, I have lived through my own disappointment, as well as being witness to the disappointment of others, and seeing how each person deals with the disappointment in their own way. I have seen abandonment of ideas, changing of mind, tears and most of the time anger. All these are ways to deal with the disappointment, but are they the most positive ways to deal with this emotion?
I saw this emotion bubble up in my daughter’s eyes many times, but the one that broke my heart was when she and her twin took a test for an advanced school. Both of the children were musically inclined, and smart, however, my daughter did not get into the school because she doesn’t take test well, but her brother did. He got the advantage of working with a top rated band teacher, and my daughter was saddled with a third rate music teacher that could not teach if her life depended on it. She not only had tears, but she abandoned her saxophone and all music.
Was that the best reaction?
As a person that has applied for many jobs, I know the feelings that arise with rejection and with disappointment. Trust me I am not perfect, just practiced at dealing with this emotion.
Several years ago, I wanted to work for the state. I wanted the benefits, the pay, the security and the bragging rights that I had a state job. I applied for every job I could, and for five years received rejection after rejection. I happened to land a job as a temporary worker for the state and worked in that role for two years, which landed me a full time job at the state. Unfortunately, when the “Great Recession” hit, I lost my job along with thousands of other state employees: looking back, I was persistent and I got the job.
Sometimes persistence is the only thing we can do to battle disappointment. We need to hang in there, and fight for what we want.